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January: in an apparent boost to those embarking on Dry January, the University of Oxford publishes a study showing that red wine is bad for you, definitely.
February: Aldi’s £1.99 pink Prosecco becomes their all time best selling wine.
March: Burgundy EP campaign begins. TWS advises that newcomers to the region should start with DRC, so that they will forever after buy huge volumes in that elusive search to replicate the experience at a twentieth of the cost.
April: The Wine Society announces its one millionth member, who receives a case of Chateau Margaux 2005.
May: Late frosts in Sussex cause gloom among winemakers.
June: A heatwave lifts the spirits of Sussex winemakers.
July: The Wine Society, in a return to its roots, announces a bid to buy the Royal Albert Hall. A spokesman said: “The Wine Society started here, and with our ever growing need for storage space, this will provide us with the ultimate spiral cellar. And it’s in London too.”
August: The first warning of a shortage of Champagne this Christmas appears in the papers.
September: Decanter magazine announces that from next year it will include a wine supplement as there’s only so much you can write about spirits.
October: The University of Cambridge publishes a study proving conclusively that there are benefits to drinking red wine after all. “This time it’s final” said a spokesman. “No, really, it is”.
November: The Wine Society announces that members’ and press reviews will be in one place on the website some time in 2024. A spokesman said: “this time it’s final. No, really, it is”.
December: The Wine Society, Tesco, Waitrose etc announce their best ever discounts on Champagne.