What sort of Funeral?

I may be told by the monitor that this topic is not some thing that should be discussed here. If that is the case I will accept it and apologise.

As i am in my 70s and my wife has recently been seriously ill but has recovered I have been thinking about funerals. Funerals can cost a lot of money. I had been thinking of a woodland burial . The cost of a plot near here would be £1350 plus maintenance of the site. Then there would be the costs of the undertaker and transport to the site. So now i am inclined to a simple cremation with out a funeral. Later having a memorial meeting at the meeting house-we are Quakers-. Afterwards some refreshments including some wine for those who want it some wine . My choice would cut out the normal undertaker costs and it would not involve people having to travel in cars to the burial site.

Glad you didn’t tag this thread as ‘Good times’ :wink:


How about a traditional funeral pyre floated down the river Wharfe? That way people could simply make their way to their closest Wharfe bank, minimising travel time.

As a bonus you would drain into the River Ouse, and subsequently the Humber, so any friends from Hull could see it from the Humber bridge?

No maintenance costs either, so win-win.


So now. If you were to stipulate wine at your wake, what would you have?

The rest of your cellar now you’re gone and can’t drink it? The very best bottles? The cheapest? Are there tax implications if your family drink all your assets away?!

I’m leaving my WS share to my daughter, but apparently she doesn’t get the reserves as that’s part of my estate. Perhaps they can all be used at the funeral for a big old knees-up!


I was always wondering if my membership could be jointly owned by me and my wife, after all the reserves we have accumulated together (whether we both are aware or not) so she should at least be entitled to half of it without any tax and the rest may go in the inheritance process… I am wondering if anyone can give more clarity on this


She might have to sign off on all your orders in advance then @szaki1974! Would this be a good idea :wink: ?

I think that is impracticable and undesirable… :wink:

What I mean is, if I bought it after we got married is it not automatically considered jointly owned even if it is my name on the share?


@BENEDICTNASH, I’m delighted to hear that your wife’s health has improved, and completely agree with you that facing up to our own mortality and ultimate demise is a good thing to do. I am also (mildly) entertained by tagging a discussion of Funerals with the word “lifestyle”!

Just an immediate reaction to your latter comment -

There are extra certification needs if somebody has to be cremated, besides the usual death certification (and potential post-mortem) which will be needed. I’m not sure if you envisage avoiding the use of an undertaker entirely, but if so it would only be fair to let your loved ones know you want them to deal with all this as well as the detailed matter of laying you out, storing your body under refrigeration until your booked slot at the crem. comes around, and then transporting you there in good time for that.

These things, and no doubt others, are normally looked after by undertakers. I know there are certain commercial chain(s) which have rather tarnished the reputation of the business, but honestly there are still plenty of small local businesses who offer a sympathetic and affordable service. I know what we were charged for the level of service we had when my mother died was very fair in my opinion.

My final comment is that these things are really best left to your executors - if you make too stringent demands on them, they may decide to do otherwise. But a reasonable statement of what you would like is more likely to be honoured I suspect.


I didnt tag it as lifestyle. Someone else has done that. It could be said to be a life style choice because you make it when you are alive. I would leave it to my executor who is my wife.
Simplicity cremations quote the following"Unattended direct cremations for £995 ranging up to an attended funeral with a ceremony for £1,895"

This would be illegal because of Health and Safety. A river is also owned by someone . You would need permission of the owners of the stretches of the River that your pyre went along.

I had thought about arranging that everyone who attends my funeral (in hopefully a lot of years) gets a raffle ticket associated with a bottle that is either in my cellar or storage and that is my parting gift to them.

or…it’s a 600 bottle wake !! although with some of my friends, that may not be enough!


Being a Quaker I wouldnt do . All that i have also belongs to my wife and vise versa,

I’ve completed the forms to donate my body to medical science - useful & does away with the funeral altogether. I believe that once the medical students have done their worst anything left is cremated. What I’m really hoping is that they’ll get to my liver and go “Wow!”


It’s going to be a burial for me. I like cemeteries. They can be very peaceful. There’s a lovely one outside Charing Cross Hospital. It’s nice to sit and reflect on the lives and times of the people laid to rest there. And it reminds us of our own mortality.

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CHARING CROSS HOSPITAL IS NOT AT CHARING CROSS but at Hammersmith I assume you mean Margravine Cemetry its 15-acre award-winning wildlife haven with over 300 trees, 6 listed monuments.
" The cemetery was opened in 1868 and laid out by local architect George Saunders who designed the modest Gothic style lodges and two chapels in the Gothic style. Only one chapel of rest survives, the other was demolished in 1939.

The first burial took place on 3 November 1869. Some of the more significant memorials remaining include the impressive Young family mausoleum, the only one in the cemetery. The cemetery is also part of the Barons Court Conservation area, designated in April 1989.

The 16.5 acres of Margravine became a Garden of Rest in 1951 when the then Hammersmith Council, concerned at its dilapidated appearance, decided to remove as many memorials and bury as many tombstones as possible and lay the cleared land to grass. By 1965 this ‘clear-up’ operation was completed, leaving behind the mix of gravestones and grass that we see today." quoted fromhttps://www.lbhf.gov.uk history page .
Cemeteries can be very good if they are looked after but often whoever owns them does not have enough money to do so. There are a number of cemeteries that are full and just left and no one visits them. As a trustee i am responsible for a number of cemeteries in Lancashire and Yorkshire. Most are closed but all are looked after.
The problem is that is not enough room for everybody to be buried .

Similar problem for the living.


Thats not true . There is enough room for the living. I have enough room . 8 rooms for 2 people and a dog nice gardens 5mins walk to open countryside.
The world has vast area with no one living there. Recent research has shown that the fertility rate is reducing . In most European countries its below replacement level. That means as the elderly die off not enough children are born to replace them. In UK the fertility rate 1.7 for every two adults only 1.7 children are being born

I’ve donated my body to medical research via a teaching anatomy university hospital


My Dad is always going on about wanting to be donated to the medical students.
I think its an admirable thing to do and having done some cadaver studies it really is a necessity to understand everything about the human body when you can physically see and touch the tendons, ligaments, muscles etc…


Thinking of doing the same. Its useful and you dont have to have a funeral.