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Misleading Children - the funny side

Let’s kick off the week with a bit of fun.

Are there anythings that you have told your children, or were told when you were a child, that were not entirely truthful?

We told our children that when the ice-cream van played a tune they had run out of ice cream.

Also, we had a burglar alarm sensor in our dining room, when it sensed movement a red light came on. Leading up to Christmas we told them that it was Santa watching their behaviour.

What story do you have?


What that van sells ice cream and isn’t the child catcher… Mum I want a word!!:grinning:


I’ve been giving the impression that I’m both competent at mathematics and an expert in fractions. Truth is, I’m pretty much busking it as we go along…


Growing up and going to primary school in North Wales, there are genuinely things that I was taught as fact in school that happened locally, some of which I still don’t know if they’re true or not.

*The lightbulb being invented on Anglesey
*The equals sign being invented on Anglesey
*Charles Darwin doing his best work in Snowdonia
*Jack the Ripper being from Anglesey
*Handels Messiah being first performed in Bangor

Anyone fancy a go at which of these are/aren’t true?

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Handel’s Messiah first performed in Bangor - true?

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When my daughter was young and we went on holiday or other long car journeys, we managed to avoid the inevitable “Are we nearly there yet?” by use of the ‘Ejector’ button in the car. Coupled with a roof light in our Renault Scenic, the flashing and serious looking hazard warning button combined with a 10 second countdown and dire warnings always worked wonders.

She was about 13 before she found out the truth… :laughing:


It was officially premiered in Dublin and there was a public dress rehearsal in Bangor en route. The equals sign was also “invented” on Anglesey (“as no two two things can be more equal” which I can hear an North Walian methodist minister saying very gravely), the lightbulb clearly wasn’t (although I was taught that it was).

Darwin did enjoy walking in the Cambrian mountains and did do some work there, but not his major works. There is as much evidence that Jack the Ripper was a doctor from Newborough as there is that he was anyone else.


…I’m seriously contemplating pulling the fuse out of the plug on the telly, shrugging, and saying “sorry, it’s completely broken and we just can’t get it fixed until lockdown is over”.


All you need to do is be 1% better (that’s 1/100 if we’re doing fractions) than the other person and just carry on. You got this!

… who would you really be punishing though?


Yeah, I did simultaneously think that it might have the potential to backfire on me.


That reminds me that the definition of an expert is someone who knows 5% more than you. Also the definition of a Bull S…tter is a person who knows 5% less than you but thinks they are an expert.


I remember being told to “take that sulky look off your face because if the wind changes you’ll be stuck like that”.


When our kids were young, a Robin used to bob about outside the windows appearing to look in. The Robin was known as Grandma’s Robin that would go and tell her all the naughty things her grandchildren were up to. Grandma would relay the information back to them and the kids were in awe.
Imagine their faces when Geordie, our feral farm ginger Tom, walks in with Robin in his mouth. Horror, that the cat had killed Robin, yet delight that the snitch had been removed from their lives. All of them had hands over their mouths and they were constantly looking at each other to judge what the emotion should be.
A new Robin moved in a few weeks later… Grandma’s revenge.


What a moment! Shock, mixed with happiness and guilt at the joy of a (not so) innocent creature, all writ large across their faces.

Definitely one to remember.

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I was told that eating carrots helped me to see in the dark.


And I was told that if I didn’t eat the crusts my hair would never go curly. Not sure why they thought that was a threat!


We had our kids going for a few years that Shane Warne was the neighbourhood criminal/bad boy and out to find naughty and negligent kids to take down (we lived in Sydney at the time, and Warnie lives in Melb but the kids didn’t know that). It was at the time he was involved in lots of scandals so his name was constantly referenced on the news.

It worked well for us with lines such as

  • “Bring your scooter inside or Shane Warne will steal it”
  • “You better eat that broccolli as Shane Warne loves it and is attracted to left over vegetables in the house and will break in to get it”
  • “No one is allowed to buy these sweets in the newsagent as Shane Warne makes the shop owner save them all for him”

I think I even pretended to phone him a few times.

Basically it was how we got the kids to do what we wanted, and Warnie was blamed for all kind of mishaps around the neighbourhood - graffiti, overturned bins, kids bikes that went missing etc.

It kept us amused anyway. Then, imagine the horror in the house when Warnie showed up in the Channel 9 commentary box!!! :astonished: :astonished: :astonished:


I also believed Mars was populated by Marsians.


I was told that if I swallowed an apple/orange/grapefruit pip I’d end up with a tree growing in my belly (surely I’m not the only child whose parents told them that…) I don’t recall taking it that seriously, but now wonder why I didn’t think to ask why that didn’t apply to any fruit/veg where you eat the seeds as a matter of course (berries, tomatoes, cucumbers etc.)!