Sums us up quite well too. Thankfully the brain has been behaving itself recently and over purchasing of wine has been entirely conscious and rational.
Every bottle opened in this house is shared equally with my wife.
So when I make a purchase from whomever, I merely say “darling I’ve ordered you some wine”.
No big deal and she is always happy with my selections. If she expresses a particular liking for a wine, I always make sure there’s some inthe cellar.
To avoid any argument that this thread could be biased I would like to say that I don’t love lawyers.
Ouch. Some of us are ok really…!
To avoid any argument that this thread could be biased I would like to say that I don’t love lawyers but at the same time I may love lawyers in the future once I’ve met them
A response worthy of a lawyer
I make sure that at least half of every delivery contains something OH likes a lot.
Below the level of a holiday / car / house this approach seems to work for me.
On lawyers and love or not love, I offer the testimony of Mrs T Turner:
“whats love got to do with it”
though I am not completely in agreement with the rest of her statement
A combination of “ignorance is bliss” (ie: I don’t tell my partner) combined with a never diminishing stock of chilled Chablis & Muscadet in the fridge.
My theory is that the Partner wont bite the hand that replaces the white wine.
Oh… and separate bank accounts.
Separate bank accounts are key, not just for wine purchases, but for marital harmony of all kinds. We do have a joint account for bills, the supermarket etc, but otherwise we do our own thing, both put some money aside for holidays, and have various unwritten rules about who pays for what. Seems to work OK.
I see wine buying as a question of cashflow management rather than gratuitous expense - the wine will get drunk (eventually), we will generally share and both enjoy it, and stocking up in relatively good times ensures at least we’ll have something decent to drink if the wheels ever come off.
My main problem is that the stocks at home are rapidly exceeding the available storage, which does give rise to the odd pointed remark…
We struck a deal where, if I am to keep buying wine, I need to throw in, with every purchase, something she likes. Problem is, what she likes now is always out of stock, on purpose, I suspect.
I recently struck upon the ‘buy loads in one go and don’t hide it’ approach. Grumbled at for a little while, but the deed was done.
Member’s reserves is your saviour.
Lockdown had resolved this issue for me. He now knows exactly how often, and how much I order. We both work from home, and I’m often in appointments/meetings when wine deliveries arrive, so nowhere to hide.
But that’s good. The shifted baseline means I can be open and honest, and two deliveries a week are now often the ‘new normal’.
Two deliveries a week… Need to up my game
Ha ha! It’s more of an average, really. And some of said deliveries contain three/four bottles only. So no need to up yer game just yet
An average!?! That means some weeks it’s more than 2. I need to share this information with Mrs B; I get tuts if wine appears weekly.
Ok, but subterfuge in expenditure can be a two way street. Are we all sure that we are the only ones with surreptitious purchasing? An internal “yes or no”, particularly from the lawyers, will suffice.
Yep. But some weeks none… Don’t shed a tear!
The oenophile equivalent of shifting the Overton window
I have little more to offer than appreciative amusement. The little more being that my partner may not wish, on occasion, to be aware of the bottle price. Otherwise it can spoil her enjoyment she says.
Descriptive is fine e.g. everyday/good/celebration quality but numbers are avoided.