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Best wine sayings/jokes


#1

Apologies if this has already featured, but I was prompted to post after the following exchange at tonight’s dinner when we had chicken:
Mrs Vinatallcosts - Pass me your bones I’m starting another stock.
Ms Vinatallcosts - Mummy’s "The Bone Collector"
Me - So am I
Mrs and Ms (together) Eh?
Me - Yes I’m the Beaune collector!
Followed by five minutes explanation resulting in little enlightenment.
So I thought there have to be much better jokes etc. And I found this. More of a saying than a joke but whatever.

“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”

Paulo Coelho

PS With Beaune around £30 a bottle I’m no collector


#2

Dorothy Parker:

I wish I could drink like a lady
I’d have one or two at the most
Three and I’m under the table
Four and I’m under the host


#3

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
Benjamin Franklin
…and these found their way into my basket this afternoon.
How opportune.


#4

aaaah the Federalist :wink:! I’ve a couple waiting to get older :+1:


#5

Very fruity wine, but smokey enough to go with the first bbq steak of the year.
They have just added this to their line up.
http://www.federalistwines.com/bourbon-barrel-aged-zinfandel
I may just have to find it to give it a go.
This may just be the start of something… but, who knows?


#6

The one that immediately jumps to mind is:

“I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy”

But I’m sure others can do better.

The sad truth is that there are simply not enough creative ones and you see the same old quotes all the time. It would be great to find some new sayings to share :slight_smile:


#7

There’s a Spanish proverb that I’m very fond of:

“Only ever have one drink; two is too many, three is too few.”

I find it especially applicable for midweek lunches and evenings when one still has work to do.


#8

One old wino to another "Telll you what Rick, I’ll be glad when I’ve had enough of this red !!


#9

Three be the things I shall never attain, Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.


#10

“A magnum is the perfect size for two gentleman over lunch, especially if one of them isn’t drinking” - W. Churchill


#11

@RobMcDonald That’s got to be my favourite so far! :joy:

I also quite like:

"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.”

Apparently attributable to Aristophanes, but I know quite a few people who think they get cleverer after a glass of wine…


#12

:grinning: Churchill has rather cornered the market - another couple of gems:

‘Remember gentlemen, it’s not just France we are fighting for, it’s Champagne.’

‘Dinner would have been splendid…if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess.’


#13

Yes, Churchill does seem to spring to mind and one of my favourite quotes goes like this, (I think) - Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”


#14

This is one of my favourite quotations about wine: from Homer’s The Odyssey, written almost 3000 years ago. (Not sure whose translation this is; I can’t read the original Greek.)
“Telemachus let them talk, and went along to his father’s storeroom, a big and
lofty chamber stacked with gold and bronze, and with chests full of clothing,
and stores of fragrant oil. There, too, shoulder to shoulder along the wall,
stood jars of mellow vintage wine, full of the true unblended juice, waiting
for the day when Odysseus, for all he had suffered, should find his home again.”


#15

Ooh, I like this topic. One of my favourites is from the mid-4th C BC Athenian poet Eubulus, from his play Semele or Dionysus:

I mix three drinks for the temperate:
One for health, which they empty first,
The second for love and pleasure,
The third for sleep.

When these cups are emptied, the wise go home.

The fourth drink is ours no longer, but belongs to violence,
The fifth to uproar,
The sixth to drunken revelry,
The seventh to black eyes,
The eighth to the police,
The ninth to anger,
And the tenth to madness and the hurling of furniture.


#16

This is fantastic! And still holds true!
I didn’t realise there was much furniture to hurl in the 4th century BC! But I bet there was a lot of urn smashing… :wink:


#17

I know, it’s great isn’t it? I love it.


#18

Indeed!
It also brings to mind Shakespeare’s porter in Macbeth, and his famous allusion to the effects of alcohol: "…it provokes and unprovokes. It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.” :flushed:


#19

Attributed to W. C. Fields…

“What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.”


#20

That’s one of my favourites! I was going to post it and clean forgot…!